Friday, August 5, 2011

Know it All

Know -it- all = snarky sentiment applied to a person by another person usually in derogatory tone of voice. Often meant to hurt the feelings of the accused.

  One of my biggest peeves in life is people who refuse to learn from other people's mistakes. I operate under the assumption that in reality, life is like a script to a movie. It's basically the same script just played out by different actors. Now, I realize that varying actors might bring a different emotional spin to the action and we may feel more deeply for some than we do others or we may connect better to some actors than others. But no matter how the actor plays the scene, when she gets out of the car in the dark alley, something is gonna jump out and get her. And we are gonna scream! Because we "knew-it-all" the time.

  Teaching high school is kind of like watching a horror movie over and over. I watch different actors act out the same script. I see them get out of the car in the dark alley and I know what is going to happen to them. The same goes for my personal life. I have lived long enough now that I am watching my younger relatives act out the same script I did. They are getting married and having babies and making big decisions. And sometimes, I watch them and it brings tears of joy to my eyes. Other times, I'm watching them jump out of that car in the dark alley and I want to scream because I know what's waiting for them out there in the darkness.

  I guess it's because I am a know it all (I mean according to my assumption) and what I know I learned the hard way. I know it because I already acted out that script. I learned by getting out into that darkness myself. And that evil that is lurking in that alleyway is so much worse than anything Hollywood could portray on a movie screen. And I want to scream because all of them think it's going to be different for them. That somehow their script ends with them beating the bad guy. And while I'm not a total pessimist who thinks this can't be done, I am a realist who knows that the beating you are going to take while trying will change the rest of your life.

 So, this know-it-all has a heavy heart tonight because I am seeing more and more actors that are so special to me jump out into the darkness. And, as I mentioned, I've been there. And I know the evil. And I want more than anything for a new script to be written. I want people to realize how difficult it is to fight the bad guy.

   You see, the devil is the one who called me a know-it-all. We all know that when watching that scene in the movie where the car dies and the girl inevitably gets out, we are thinking, "Why? Why is she doing that?" We know what's going to happen. But what that girl is thinking is that she can get away. It will be different for her. But she doesn't realize what's out there. We think we know, but we don't. And once we find out, the devil says to us, "ha ha. you just thought you knew. You thought you wanted what was out here! and I've got you now you little know-it-all!"

  I ask for all who read this to pray diligently for me that I would pray more diligently for my boys. I don't want to watch them jump out of the car in the dark alley. I know the urge to do so is so strong. But I want more than anything for them to act out a different script than I have. Because I don't want them to be a know-it-all.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

First Steps

  I forget everything. I mean EVERYTHING. My boys are 12 yrs. and 8 yrs. old. I remember that I've always loved them. Always thought they were beautiful. That they've always made me smile. But due to the hustle and bustle of life, I don't really remember many of details of events in their lives. (thank goodness for cameras) There is however one thing that most mothers always remember and that is their baby's first steps. While typing this, I am realizing that I don't actually remember my oldest son's first steps, but I do remember Carson's. We were in his room and I looked up and he was moving towards me - SIDEWAYS! He was not facing me but coming toward me at a slant. Sebastian, who was only 3 at the time, was in the room with me and even he realized there was something humorous about the way Carson was walking and we laughed. Him taking his first steps sideways was just the beginning of him doing things his own way! Carson still approaches things from his own angle and always makes me laugh but he did learn to walk straight!
  A few weeks ago, my husband fell and almost broke his leg. He did a lot of damage and tore some muscles and ligaments. He could hardly walk at first and was in a cast for a bit and then they put him in a boot that he was supposed to wear for a month! He was out of work for a week which was a trial because if you know my husband, he never misses work and he hates being still! The doctor told him to go ahead and put as much weight on the leg as was bearable but that he would need physical therapy to train the leg and get it back in shape so that he could prevent further injury or re-injuring of the leg.
  I worried about him when he started walking on it because I knew it caused him pain. Of course, he couldn't walk straight. He hobbled along in his boot, trying to balance the pain. It's not as humorous watching a grown-up walk sideways because of brokenness as it is watching a baby take their first steps and falling all over the place. But I knew it was necessary for him to keep walking in order to help his leg get back in proper working order. He told me last week that he didn't think he really needed to go to physical therapy! I am trying hard to convince him that it is necessary. He needs to learn the exercises and proper steps to getting his leg back in shape.
  I know a few things about falling and breaking, hence the name of my blog. (backslider's bible study) I have fallen and broken some things. At first, I didn't want to walk again. I was bitter and angry at God for the pain I felt. But, I finally realized that I can't walk sideways for the rest of my life. I have to learn how to function properly. I needed physical therapy. I have been told all my life "when you don't know what to do, do what you KNOW to do!" So I started going back to church. I started learning to walk again. This morning the preacher talked about having a successful walk with the Lord. He talked about realizing God is in control and desiring God and trusting God. And I know that I need exercise in those areas in order to function at my full potential.
  It's a lot like Ray and his broken leg. He doesn't have full control over his walking ability anymore. He doesn't desire to walk long distances because it causes pain and he doesn't trust his leg to do what it is supposed to do. But in order to walk again the way he should and without pain, he has to exercise and gain control and trust to prevent falling again and re-injuring himself. And so do I. It's hard to go long distances when you're broken. It causes pain. And you don't want to trust because you are always afraid of falling again and re-injuring yourself  but in order to gain proper function, you've got to go the distance. You've got to go to physical therapy and gain strength and learn to trust again. You have to step out on faith and believe that you will remain standing. Believe that if you stumble, you'll right yourself and keep going. You've also got to realize that after a severe injury, you will never be the same but you can learn to walk straight again.
Note: if you see a grown-up who is having trouble walking, be mindful of what they might have broken. It is easy to criticize those who are not trekking along at full speed but until you know what kind of pain they are dealing with, just smile and be thankful for their sideways baby steps.

Monday, April 25, 2011

The analogy continues...

  I would like to clarify something about my last post regarding the need for spiritual treatment. I do not wish anyone to believe healing can be restored while disobeying Doctors orders. On the contrary, when receiving treatment for spiritual wounds, I understand the patient must be willing to accept the treatment. Patients who have formerly been in good health and have fallen ill, understand better than anyone the need for thorough treatment.

   The best doctors, after assessing the wounds or sickness of a patient, develop a treatment plan. That plan is not based solely on the wounded patient  they see in front of them. Good doctors study the entire medical history of their patients and proceed accordingly. "O LORD, thou hast searched me, and known me. Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off.
Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways." Ps. 139:1-3 Therefore, I have perfect trust in the Great Physician that He is indeed capable of forming a treatment plan that is right for me.  "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end." Jer. 29:11 I also believe it is the Doctor's desire to see sick patients restored to perfect health. "I will heal their backsliding, I will love them freely; for mine anger is turned away from him." Hosea 14:4 Because I know all this, and I have faith in my Doctor, I am willing to accept that the treatment plan will include both healing balms and cleansing antiseptics.

"Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions. Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.  For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me." Psalm 51:1-3 "Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow." Psalm 51:7

You see, I understand that no matter how difficult the treatment is, the patient must be willing to accept it. The patient must be willing to endure the injections, IV's, and wound scrubbings. My purpose was not to dispute the Doctor's orders, but rather to draw attention to the nurses that are charged with assisting. I draw your attention back to the original verse on which I based my comments: "Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye that are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted." Gal. 6:1 While the Great Physician does indeed have all that is required for healing, He charges nurses with the duties of assisting patients on their journey to restoration. My purpose, from a patient's perspective,  is that there are plenty of nurses out there with sufficient knowledge of treatment plans handed down from the doctor. My concern is that those nurses lack the "spirit of meekness" with which they are supposed to administer treatment.  Meekness there means humility and mildness. Because, "thou also be tempted." I think too often, we look at a patient and say, "That could never happen to me!" But, Sin is a disease that we are all afflicted with.

Have you ever watched a patient endure Chemo therapy. The medicine is good for the patient and can eventually bring healing. However, when the chemicals mix with the poison in the body, horrible pain and sickness result. Loss of hair, vomiting, writhing in agony are also often symptoms. My point was there are plenty of nurses just waiting for the opportunity to stick patients with needles and apply antiseptic to wounds - to carry out the treatment plan. However, there aren't many who possess the meekness the Great Physician requires, to hold their hand, and put themselves in the position of a patient who well remembers health, while they suffer their way through treatment. I don't wish for any nurse to stray from the treatment plan. I only wish they would also consider how painful treatment is for the patient and recognize sticking patients isn't their only duty. Staying by them with MEEKNESS is also required in order for their job to be complete.

Friday, April 15, 2011

  Nursing is an ever-growing career field. So much so that apparently, if you are enrolled in school, the only possible subject you could be studying is nursing! If ever I mentioned my being in school, the first assumption was, "Oh, are you taking nursing?" NO!! I do not now, nor have I ever, nor will I ever wish to study nursing!
  I have great respect for nurses. I have two in my immediate family. However, I have no desire to be associated with the medical field in any way. Why, you ask? For starters, the older I get the weaker stomached I become.  I definitely want no part of any bodily secretions, be it snot, pooh, pee, or otherwise!! I just can't handle it! Furthermore, I do not mind blood so much as I cringe at the thought of a wound. Gaping, bleeding, pulsing tears, gashes or rips in flesh I cannot stand.
  Just imagine the many different scenarios nurses encounter. Some wounds are so severe, they cause the loss of limbs. There must be horrible sights and sounds associated with such wounds. Nevertheless, nurses and most all medical professionals are capable and competent in helping heal wounds. It's their duty. Their calling. They do it because they love it and the urge to help people, to erase or at best, lessen the pain and suffering of others, the need to restore someone to their pre-wounded condition, overwhelms them and allows them to persevere through the most horrific of situations.
  Obviously, not  all people are  called for such a purpose - to restore  people back to health. But while not everyone is called to nurse people to health, it IS more than likely that at some point, all of us will need someone to assist us in a medical situation. When I am sick or wounded and I go to the Doctor, I DO NOT want to be helped by someone like me! Imagine arriving at the doctor's office and being treated by a nurse that can't bear the sight of blood or the groan of pain. Or, being greeted by a nurse that doesn't really care if you make it out alive because they are too worried about not throwing up due to seeing you in your awful condition! When we go to the doctor, or find ourselves needing medical attention, we don't want to end up with the nurse that sits around the nurses station talkin on her phone, or runs out for smoke breaks every 10 minutes, or gives you the evil eye when you push the call button! WE want the sweet, doe-eyed nurse that attends to our every need and has impeccable bedside manners!
  The same can be said of us when we find ourselves with spiritual wounds. And oh boy, is there ever a need for Spiritual restoration specialists! You may be asking, "well how is one spiritually wounded?" If you are asking that you've obviously not been around a church much but I will indulge you. The Bible says in Luke 22:31, "...Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat." The process of sifting wheat was a lengthy one. I will not discuss it all here, but it involved cutting and beating and breaking away parts of the wheat. It was a long process and did not happen all at once. Today we have machines called combines that combine the process to make it easier. The Bible says, Satan wants to have us so he can sift us as wheat. Literally, he wants us so he can cut us, beat us, and tear us. I think Satan wants as much time as we will allow for the process of sifting us. Can you imagine if physically a person was put through the process? It would be extremely painful and we would definitely need medical attention. Imagine showing up at the hospital after having suffered a run in with a combine. The wounds would be horrendous. Your body would need round the clock attention. You would require medicines and treatments. And nurses would need to constantly attend you. You would want that nurse who had a lot of compassion. Who felt the urge to restore you to a pre-wound condition.
   I realize the meaning is that Satan wants to sift us spiritually. But spiritual wounds are painful just like physical wounds. And spiritual wounds must be healed in order for a Christian to survive. Imagine a Christian being spiritually wounded and not recieving proper treatment for their wounds. Or, trying to heal them on their own. Or showing up at the "hospital" only to be attended by the "nurse" that sits at the station talking on her phone. Galatians 6:1 says, "Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted."
Spritually wounded people need nurses that have compassion. That have the desire, the urge, the calling to give treatment no matter how bad the wound. You know the amazing thing about nurses? Nurses did not have to endure EVERY type of wound in order to know how to treat every type of wound. I bet if you showed up at the hospital after having your arm ripped off in a combine, they wouldn't lay you on a table and make you wait while they searched for a nurse who had suffered the same type of injury to know how to treat you! Nurses are trained to treat wounds no matter whether they have suffered them or not!
You know what else is amazing about nurses. If you showed up at the hospital after having your arm severed by a big piece of farm equipment, they probably wouldn't look at you, and think you are an idiot who did this on purpose! They wouldn't leave you layin there until you confessed your idiocy and proved that you deserved treatment! They would realize that for whatever reason a machine more powerful than you, got ahold of you WHILE YOU WERE WORKING NEAR IT, (I realize we have to take responsibility for our part) and sucked you in and tore you up. Sifted you into parts. And they would immediately and continuously provide you with care until you were better.
  Many times I am afraid that we Christians do not really understand the power of the devil and the severity of the wounds he inflicts. We hear preaching about the devil and his power, but let a Christian get sucked in and sifted and we shift the blame away from the devil and onto the Christian. We forget that the devil's desire was to harm them. THerefore, we eradicate our obligation to help them in their healing process. Or,we go back to our station and  and lay em on the table and let em wait. Til they are so damaged by their wounds, their lives cannot be restored to a pre-wound state. Nurses would lose their jobs if they left their patients unattended and uncared for. I'm afraid sometimes the spiritually wounded are never restored because their nurses do not have the same sense of obligation to their patients.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Pretty on the outside, Icksnay on the inside!

  Every woman wants to be thought of as pretty! There's no denying it. Females, invariably wish to be thought of as THE prettiest. When we go to buy a new outfit, we fantasize while looking at ourselves in the dressing room mirror of wowing those who see us in our new outfit.
  In small towns in the South, one of the best audiences for displaying our beauty is at church on Sunday mornings. I mean, we are pretty much guaranteed a captive audience for at least one hour on Sunday mornings to share our fashion prowess with those other church-goers fortunate enough to show up on the same Sunday morning that we arrived in our fabulous new duds.
  Come on ladies, we all know that if we are arriving at church in a super outfit, whether it be new or old, we spend time arranging ourselves in such a way that we suck the most marrow out of every pretty bone in our bodies in order to gain the most oohs and ahhs from everyone we come in contact with!
  For some of us, all this beautifying takes more effort than for others. I was reminded of all this effort this morning, while I was readying myself to be THE prettiest at today's church service. I did my hair and make-up, all the while debating in my mind which shoes would be most fitting for my long, flowing brown peasant skirt and crocheted cream top.
  I knew that the last time I wore this same outfit, (to school, not church) I looked a little frumpy. So, I remembered that I had a little-used pair of Spanx in my lingerie drawer that would readily solve the problem of frump. I readied myself to squeeze into said Spanx, thinking already about how much prettier I would look minus those few extra "wrinkles" around my mid-section. Cause, let us not forget, our goal is to be THE prettiest.
  I did indeed arrive at church and recieved at least one compliment from my beautiful neice on the success of my outfit. I did not share with her the UGLY truth about what was under my long, flowy skirt. I will divulge that info. here and now. Underneath my long flowy skirt was a body squeezed into a pair of Spanx like too much sausage in too little casing! And under that was a BIG grannyesque pair of drawers. Not panties, drawers. And under my super cute, sexy boots, was a fuzzy, unmatching pair of socks. Top that off with an old, ratty, but still competent bra in drab beige and you've got for an inside that didn't at all match an outside!
  While I was sitting in church, hoping not to turn blue and fall over from my inability to breathe in my sausage casing, I was reminded of several attitudes Christians have about being pretty!
  Number One: I think, way too often, while complimenting someone's outside, we fail to realize what might be going on on someone's inside. Sometimes, people show up at church trying to be THE prettiest, because of a deep need to cover up the ugly disaster on the inside. Sometimes, people are so restrained by things on the inside they sit through church and can't breathe. And we never notice, because after all, they look so good on the outside. People are hurting. People are covering up. And we don't notice. And we should, before they fall over.
  Number Two: Truthfully, all of us look better on the outside as opposed to what's underneath. Because underneath, all of us are sinners. Some of us have more sin packed into our Spanx than others but we all have sin. Sometimes, I think those Christians who have maybe a little less sin, start to thinking they are THE prettiest. Maybe it takes them a little less time to get beautiful on Sunday, but it doesn't make them prettier than the girl with the mismatched socks under stylish, sexy boots.
  Therefore, the next time you are preparing to show up at church and wow the crowd with your fashion sense and beauty, think about what it might have cost THE prettiest gal there to achieve her Sunday morning look. And before you leave her with only a simple compliment on her outside, ask her how well she's breathing. Maybe next week, she won't have to try so hard!